A Bad Week
by Eesa
Summary: What's wrong with Haruhi? Why is Tamaki growing excessive amounts of mushrooms? Why is Kyouya extremely uncomfortable? All shall be revealed!


It was a bad week, although many mushrooms were grown.

The members of the host club began to sense something was "off" with Haruhi when she wasn't her normal, cheerful (albeit apathetic) self. She would respond to questions or conversations with a simple "hm." Or "I guess." And to Tamaki's over exaggerated advances, she was downright pissy.

"Can you leave me alone for TWO SECONDS, sempai?" She snapped at him, when he tried to get her to "use a little blush; you're so pale all the time!"

He sulked in the corner, growing mushrooms for two hours.

The next thing they noticed was Haruhi was pounding back the cakes faster than Hunny, who was trying his hardest to keep up with her. But every time he would reach for one, she would growl at him, predatory. It was reminiscent to a mother bear guarding its offspring. Hunny flung himself into Mori's arms, scared for his life.

The final thing was when they were entertaining customers. Haruhi was telling her regulars a story about how her mother loved to garden and Haruhi would often help her water the plants, and tend to the flowers. Suddenly, large tears welled up in Haruhi's equally large eyes, and fell down her face. All of her customers began to cry, too, at the passionate display of affection. Soon the whole group was sobbing. The rest of the host club stared in awe. She wasn't even using eye drops!

Kyouya wasn't sure if this was beneficial to sales or not.

That day, after all the customers were gone, Haruhi began shoving cakes in her mouth with wild abandon. The rest of the club convened in the corner, out of hearing distance.

"Now, listen up!" Tamaki declared, his face in what he imagined to be a determined glare. "Something is bothering my little girl, and I'm not going to sit around while she ruins her waistline with cake!"  
>Everyone (minus Kyouya, who was on the phone) nodded, and discussed a battle plan. They agreed on a course of action, and handshakes were offered all around.<p>

Tamaki approached Haruhi, careful not to startle her. "H-Haruhi?" He stuttered. "Is something wrong? You can tell daddy if something's bothering you."

Haruhi whipped her head around, crumbs falling out of her mouth. "WHAT?" she snapped. "Is there something wrong with me? Huh?"

Tamaki reeled backwards. His beautiful daughter, mad!

Kyouya stepped in. "I believe we may have an answer to our questions." Everyone turned to look at him, including Haruhi (still eating cake).

Kyouya tugged at his collar. "I have contacted Haruhi's father, and it seems that Haruhi is… on her menstrual cycle."

Silence fell throughout the room.

'You WHAT?" Haruhi screeched.

Kyouya looked uncomfortable. "You… I just… sales were dropping and… Cake is expensive, and…"

Haruhi stood up, seething with anger. "DO I HAVE NO PRIVACY AT ALL?"

"Mori," Hunny said, tugging at Mori's sleeve. "What's a menstrual cycle?"

Twin glints appeared in Hikaru and Karou's eyes, and they pounced on Hunny, dragging him to the corner where they proceeded to use several diagrams and a plastic dummy to demonstrate just what a menstrual cycle was. Mori looked on, unsure what to do in the situation.

Meanwhile, Kyouya was trying to pacify Haruhi. "Listen, I understand that it is natural for all girls to… in your situation, I…"

Haruhi looked ready to snap his neck.

Hunny began to cry, thoroughly scarred for life.

Tamaki seemed to break out of a trance.

"MY DARLING DAUGHTER!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "GOING THROUGH SUCH PAIN AND SUFFERING!" He whipped his head around to look at Kyouya.

"KYOUYA!" He barked. "Use your family's doctors! Spare no expense! MAKE MY HARUHI NORMAL!"

All noise ceased.

Haruhi now appeared to be on fire with rage.

"Wrong choice of words, boss." The twins sang in unison.

"NORMAL?" Haruhi screamed. "NORMAL? IS THIS MY FAULT? AM I OFFENDING YOU?"

She continued on for ten minutes.

Tamaki was reduced to growing mushrooms for the rest of the week.


End file.
